What You Pass On

“I want you to consider making your life one long gift to others. And why not? All you have is on loan, anyway. All that lasts is what you pass on. Giving is a way of taking the focus off the money we make and putting it back where it belongs — on the lives we lead, the families we raise, the communities that nurture us” 

– Stephen King

A Time For Giving

The holidays are upon us, and for many successful people, it is a time for giving and being generous to others. In my 30-year career advising families, I have definitely found that this is the time of year when most people step up their philanthropy and charitable giving.

I think that most successful people embrace Contribution as a core personal value because many believe that they have an equal “silent partner” in their success. Whether it is their God, the Universe, or some other benevolent force, they feel that they have been blessed with the ability to use their capabilities to create wealth and abundance, and it is up to them to do something to repay that blessing.

Many people see their money as a sort of spiritual stewardship:  they are the stewards and caretakers of their wealth, and they have an obligation to use it to help others and improve the world, along with their own enjoyment of their wealth.  In many ways, philanthropy is an expression of gratitude and a way of “paying it forward,” and this feeling seems to be particularly powerful during the holiday season.

In June of 1999, famous author Stephen King was in a near-fatal car crash. Soon after that accident, while reflecting on the fragility of life, he wrote an essay about the importance of giving back, which I think beautifully captures the spirit of this season.

What You Pass On

A couple of years ago, I learned what “you can’t take it with you” means. I found out while I was lying in a ditch at the side of a country road, covered with mud and with the tibia of my right leg poking out the side of my jeans like the branch of a tree taken down in a thunderstorm. I had a MasterCard in my wallet, but when you’re lying in a ditch with broken glass in your hair, nobody accepts MasterCard.

We all know that life is ephemeral, but on that particular day and in the months that followed, I got a painful but extremely valuable look at life’s simple backstage truths. We come in naked and broke.  We may be dressed when we go out, but we’re just as broke. Warren Buffet? Going to go out broke. Bill Gates? Going out broke. Tom Hanks? Going out broke. Steve King? Broke.  Not a crying dime.

All the money you earn, all the stocks you buy, all the mutual funds you trade — all of that is mostly smoke and mirrors. It’s still going to be a quarter-past getting late whether you tell time on a Timex or a Rolex. No matter how large your bank account, no matter how many credit cards you have, sooner or later, things will begin to go wrong with the only three things you have that you can really call your own: your body, your mind, and your spirit. 

So I want you to consider making your life one long gift to others. And why not? All you have is on loan, anyway.  All that lasts is what you pass on.

Yes, charity begins at home. Those of you who pay for the college educations of your sons and daughters do a wonderful thing. If you’re able to give them a further start in life — a place in business, help with a home — so much the better.  Because charity begins at home. Because — up to a certain point at least — we are all responsible for the lives we add to the world. 

We have the power to help, the power to change. And why should we refuse? Because we’re going to take it with us? Please. 

Giving isn’t about the receiver of the gift but the giver. It’s for the giver. One doesn’t open one’s wallet to improve the world, although it’s nice when that happens; one does it to improve oneself.  I give because it’s the only concrete way I have of saying that I’m glad to be alive and that I can earn my daily bread doing what I love.  Giving is a way of taking the focus off the money we make and putting it back where it belongs – on the lives we lead, the families we raise, and the communities that nurture us. 

A life of giving — not just money, but time and spirit — repays. It helps us remember that we may be going out broke, but right now, we’re doing OK. Right now, we have the power to do great good for others and for ourselves. 

So, I ask you to begin giving and to continue as you begin. I think you’ll find in the end that you got far more than you ever had and did more good than you ever dreamed.

Giving Strategies

There is another, more pragmatic reason why charitable giving always ticks up during the holidays.  The end of the year is often the time that successful people engage in their year-end tax planning, and charitable giving has long been considered a great strategy for saving taxes while doing good.

For some, charity simply takes the form of writing a check to contribute financially to the causes that are important to them so that they can get a tax deduction at year-end.  However, it has become more common among successful people to take a more active role in their philanthropy and to share their time, talents, and treasure.  Many have even become interested in the concept of “Entrepreneurial Philanthropy,” a model that demands of charitable institutions the kind of innovative, efficient, and effective management that an entrepreneur would use in building and growing a successful company.  In many ways, successful donors today are taking an extremely proactive approach to their charitable commitments.

Many successful people also understand the importance of making a meaningful effort to teach their families about charity and contribution and to encourage philanthropy as a core value to their children and grandchildren.  I have also observed that there is a very high correlation between a family’s charitable culture and their ability to create intergenerational wealth.  Interestingly, it seems that the more we teach our children to give to others, the greater chance they will have of becoming successful themselves.

The holiday season is a wonderful opportunity to establish this commitment to charity across the entire family. This is the time of the year when we are feeling most generous to charity and also the time of the year when the entire family is already gathering together to celebrate the holidays! There are many ways to establish this habit, from a family foundation to a donor-advised fund to other informal structures.  However, the important ingredient is to make contributions and giving a “Family Affair” by involving the kids and grandkids in your charitable giving decisions.

Proactive Contribution

For most people, charity happens in a reactive way.  A telephone solicitor calls us at the dinner hour asking for a contribution to the cause du jour.  A business associate asks us to lunch to make a financial commitment to support their pet cause.  Very often, we allow ourselves to be committed to a small contribution, to buying a table at a gala, or to take a foursome on a golf outing because we feel obligated, even when we have no emotional connection or commitment to the charity in question.  How many of these causes for which we are solicited actually match up with the social issues that really matter to us most?  Very few, because reactive giving is about Someone Else’s Cause – We give reactively simply because we are asked and because we don’t want to appear rude.

Building a culture of contribution in your family can enable you to become proactive in making commitments and reap the joyful benefits of making a difference with commitments that are most meaningful to you.  A well-designed system can help your family become more thoughtful about giving and focus your financial commitments on causes and social issues that you are passionate about, which gives you great joy and satisfaction to help.  Importantly, it also creates a platform for teaching your children the value of contribution and how they can make a proactive difference in the world as well.

It doesn’t take a lot of money to do this and to teach your children or grandchildren these same values.  Family philanthropy can provide a wonderful opportunity for the family to gather together during the holidays and reconnect throughout the year, regardless of how much you give. All it takes is the discipline to start a new tradition and stick with it.

Freedom comes in four different varieties: Freedom of Money, Time, Relationships, and Purpose.