Living the Dream

“It is not joy that makes you grateful. It is gratitude that makes you joyful.”

– David Steindl-Rast

Have you ever paused to think about the ingredients of happiness? Many of us believe that happiness stems from getting what we want — a promotion, a new car, or a dream vacation. Maybe we think that when the stock market or our portfolio has a good day, we’ll have a good day. We are conditioned to believe that the contents of our experience have the power to make us happy, and that once we get what we want, we will finally be joyful and grateful.

But here’s a thought that might surprise you: True joy doesn’t come from these external achievements. It’s gratitude that leads to joy, not the other way around.

Let me explain. David Steindl-Rast once said, “It’s not joy that makes you grateful; it’s gratitude that makes you joyful.” This simple yet profound idea flips the common notion of happiness on its head. We often wait for something to happen before we feel grateful. But the truth is, cultivating gratitude for all of life’s experiences is what unlocks happiness. It is possible to be grateful and happy, before anything happens, and to receive all of our experience with a thankful heart. It’s the key to living a fulfilled life, and it’s something that’s within your control every single day.

The Stoic Approach

Now, let’s take this concept a step further by exploring a philosophy that’s been around for centuries —Stoicism. The Stoics believed in the power of perspective and the importance of focusing on what we can control. They often talked about the “Stoic dream life,” which wasn’t focused on accumulating wealth or status but on living with virtue, wisdom, and, yes, gratitude.

Sometimes we may be stuck in a rut, finding it difficult to feel happy and grateful because our current life isn’t measuring up to what we hoped it would be. Perhaps we are thinking about the dream life we wish we had, where all of our goals are achieved and all of our problems solved. The Stoics would advise that we flip the script in our minds, and instead think about all of the people who would dream about living the life we have right now – to realize that we already are living the dream.

Imagine if we could bring someone from the past into today’s world — say, your great-grandfather. Picture him trying to wrap his head around your daily life: getting groceries delivered to your doorstep, controlling your home’s temperature with a swipe on your phone, or even flying across the country in a few hours. To him, your life would seem like science fiction, an unimaginable dream. Yet, how often do we take these luxuries for granted?

Shifting Your Perspective from Wanting to Gratitude

There’s a fun little thought experiment I came across recently that really drives this home. Consider all the modern comforts you enjoy — everything from your smartphone to air conditioning. Now, ask yourself this: If you could swap places with the richest person from any time in the past, how far back would you go before you’d rather stick with your current life? You might think it would have been great to “live like a king,” but would you trade your smartphone for a king’s castle without electricity? Would you give up air travel for a horse-drawn carriage?

Even more recently, Cornelius Vanderbilt and Nelson Rockefeller are still famous today for their fabulous wealth, but neither of them had air conditioning, a telephone, or a TV. It’s a fascinating exercise that reminds us just how fortunate we are to live in this era.

So, as you go about your day today, take a moment to appreciate the extraordinary life you’re living. Think about how your ancestors would marvel at the world you may take for granted at times. Remember that it’s not the pursuit of more that brings joy but the simple act of being grateful for what you already have.

After all, living the dream starts with a mindset of gratitude.